It may not come as a surprise that most spouses seeking couple's therapy have a lack of communication or have a poor quality of communication with their partner. It's important for couples to understand that even if the two of them are the same age, same nationality, same ethnicity, same gender, or are even from the same town; the two of them have completely different life experiences. This means that both individuals have their own frame of reference in life. St. Charles Counseling regularly deals with couples whose only problem is their bad communication.
Healthy Communication Starts with Complete Forgiveness and a Loving Heart
When it comes to healthy communication, respecting each other's boundaries is vital. Because all people are imperfect and are prone to err (some more than others), forgiveness is key in any successful relationship. The more a couple can freely forgive one another, the happier they will be, and the longer their relationship will last. If you want to poison your relationship, the fastest and most effective way to do so is by not forgiving each other.
Instead of freely forgiving each other, one of the most common mistakes we see couples make is trying to get even with one another. The way that individuals get even depends on their personalities. If one partner is aggressive, they may yell, slam doors, or leave the home in anger. If an individual is passive, they may refuse to eat dinner, cry, or refuse to talk when the other individual is talking to them, knowing that these sort of responses irritate the other person.
Is a Marriage Like a Business?
A relationship is like an investment. You will only get out of it what you put into it. In that sense, you should run your relationship the same as you would run your business (sort of!). For example, successful business owners don't get even with their employees when they make a mistake or knowingly do something wrong. Successful business owners don't yell when they get angry. Instead, they manage the situation you can say 'professionally.' They think about the bigger picture operate with a view of the long-term, and they don't do things that will sabotage their business. Again, we're talking about good and successful business owners.
Now, lots of examples and illustrations can be given as to why you should NEVER run your relationship like a business. For example, in business, people often make split-second decisions to fire people, lay people off, downsize, go out of business, change the business, etc. In a relationship, you NEVER want to operate this way! In a marriage, you want to take your time, put up with the things you would never tolerate in a business, and choose love over having things done your way. Therefore, the illustration is subjective. Please use common sense. Business is about what you get. Relationships are about what you give. A business is about your bottom line. Your relationship is about love. If your marriage is on the rocks, explore couple's therapy at St. Charles Counseling today.
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St. Charles Counseling has been providing counseling services in the Fox Valley area since 2004. Every therapist at St. Charles Counseling have each been a licensed therapist for 20 years or more and have a combined experience of over 75 years in the counseling field. We offer individual, adolescent, marriage and family counseling to clients from the Fox Valley and surrounding areas, including West Chicago, Campton Hills, South Elgin, Geneva, and Batavia.
We feel strongly that therapy is not a place people come once they have failed. Rather, it’s what they do once they have decided to face life’s challenges head on and have chosen to succeed at overcoming them. You can do it. We can help.